Hey everybody.
I'm going to be posting the final copy of my short story, for my Creative Writing class, Uprising. To keep the original feeling I had intended for the story, I'm going to be posting one part per week, in the same format as it was written - beginning, middle, and end. I feel like this would keep the integral, section-based feeling of the plot intact, and hopefully make a better reading experience.
Thanks, and enjoy the first part! Tell me what you all think
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“While we wait for more information on where these apparent rebels will attack next, we’ll be moving over to Kate Jameson for a special report on the recent smuggling deals occurring around the planet, after this break. This is James Sven, for Haven News Network.”
Vince Grant flicked off the holo-television and rolled his eyes. Politics. Who really cared? The government was a huge mess. It might serve them right for some people to come in and tell them how they should be running things.
Vince looked out his apartment window down at the streets below. The capital city Haven, of the capital planet Abundante. The most important city of the most important planet of the most important government in the galaxy.
He needed to get going.
Vince put on his cap and headed out the door and down the hover elevator, down to the street. He waved down a taxi, and got taken to a restaurant.
He hadn’t ever been here before. It was a seafood restaurant, which wasn’t his favourite. He glanced up at the big fish on the logo. The whole place was meant to look like restaurants on old Earth, so it was a bit odd for Vince. He entered the large, mechanical doors. They looked a bit of out of place on the seemingly antique building. There were lots of old round tables set around. Vince could smell a very distinct fishy smell, and old sailor songs played on the speakers.
“Hey, Vinny!” A man called from the corner of the room. Vince smiled and went to sit with him.
“Hey, Doug. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, how’re ya doing? Job okay?”
“Uh… I got a new once since we last talked. I’m a technician now.”
“Technician? Now, come on, Vinny, when are you gonna stop jumpin’ around these jobs all the time? Can’t you pick one ya like?”
Vince waved a waitress over and ordered for himself. After she was gone, he turned back to Doug. “Guess not. None of these jobs suit me, I suppose.”
Doug waved his hand distractedly and sipped his beer. He grinned at Vince. “Hey, man, you still owe me twenty bucks.”
“What?”
“Yeah, that one time you couldn’t pay rent, remember? And I bailed you out.”
Vince took his drink from the waitress. “Nah, that couldn’t have been me.”
Doug laughed throatily. “Yeah, whatever you say.” The waitress put down Vince’s order and Doug eyed it. “What, you’re only getting some fish? You know they got better stuff here, right?”
“I’m good. Not a big fan of seafood.”
Doug laughed again. “You were always a picky eater kinda guy, weren’t you? We went to that buffet once and all you would eat was the lasagna.”
“Spaghetti.”
“Whatever. You gonna eat that or just leave it?”
Vince looked down at the untouched fish. “Nah, have it.” He slid the plate across the table and sipped his drink.
There was a lull in the conversation, and Doug soon spoke again. “Hey, Vinny, you heard about all this, uh, rebel stuff?” he said quietly.
“Saw it a bit on the news. Why?”
Doug glanced around. “I’m kinda worried about it. When do ya think they’ll make it here?”
Vince shrugged and stared into his cup.
“I’m serious!” Doug said.
Vince sighed. “I haven’t got a clue, and I couldn’t care less. When they get here the military’ll take care of them. Nothing to worry about.”
Doug sat back in his chair, frowning. “If you say so.”
They sat there in silence for a little while longer.
“Hey, to pay me back the 20, why don’t you buy me a refill, huh?” said Doug, spinning his empty glass.
Vince took the cup, smiling. “Yeah, you got it. Hey, waitress!” He lifted up the glass.
A series of gunshots suddenly rang around building, and one of the bullets smashed Doug’s cup. Doug shouted an expletive and jumped to his feet. “Hey, what was that?”
Vince also stood up, and then ducked back down again as they heard a loud explosion somewhere across the street. He stood up again. It was pretty much mayhem in the restaurant. People were running, screaming, haphazardly around the building. He turned around. “Hey! Hey, Doug! We gotta get out of here!”
The two of them began their run to the door, Doug shouting colourful words along the way. “What is going on, man?” he asked.
“How should I know?” Vince replied.
Although he had a pretty good hunch.
Vince kicked open the restaurant doors and ran outside. He turned to see Doug still running to the door.
An abrupt explosion suddenly leveled the entire building. “What-What?” shouted Vince. He ran over to the smashed metal pieces. “Doug! Hey, are you there?” He started pulling up pieces of metal all around.
He turned around and ran his hand through his hair. He took off down the street, headed for his apartment. Tons of the buildings were already in ruins, and a lot more detonating as he ran.
Some gunfire clipped his shoulder, and with a shout of pain, he fell down to the street. He looked behind him. There was some kind of gunfight going on. The military, in their bright blue outfits, was definitely there. But who were those people in the red uniforms?
Deciding he didn’t want to find out, Vince jumped back to his feet with a wince. He looked around, and ran into a nearby alleyway. He leaned against the wall and slid down. Everything seemed kind of fuzzy. He pulled his sleeve up and looked at his shoulder. It looked a lot better than it felt, luckily. He tore off his sleeve and then did his best to tie it tightly around the wound.
He groaned and, closing his eyes, leaned his head back onto the building behind him.
“Hey!” The sudden voice made him jump. He looked up the alleyway. A man in a red military outfit was aiming a gun at him. “Who’re you and who do you go and work for?”
Vince stared at the man as everything got fuzzier. “My… my name is Vince Grant. I’m a technician. What… who are you?”
The man looked thoughtful for a moment, and then murmured something into a transmitter. He walked over to Vince. “Okay, we should, like, get you checked out. Can ya stand, man?” He pulled Vince to his feet and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “Come on.”
“Where are you taking me?” Vince asked, dazedly.
“We’re going to my squad’s rendezvous point. You’re in bad shape.”
“Rendezvous point? Who are you working for?”
The man smiled through the blood and grit on his face. “Can’t you tell? I’m with the rebels, man. I’m with the rebels.”
I'm going to be posting the final copy of my short story, for my Creative Writing class, Uprising. To keep the original feeling I had intended for the story, I'm going to be posting one part per week, in the same format as it was written - beginning, middle, and end. I feel like this would keep the integral, section-based feeling of the plot intact, and hopefully make a better reading experience.
Thanks, and enjoy the first part! Tell me what you all think
---
Uprising
By Davey Gill
---
Beginning
“With the recent attacks about the sector, the government is currently setting its defenses on high priority. Several fringe planets have been assaulted thus far, and in particular, a high amount of weapons plants have been ransacked and stolen from. The capital city Haven has been arranging a number of military standby points, so we’ll be able to sleep safe tonight, knowing our best men are on the job.By Davey Gill
---
Beginning
“While we wait for more information on where these apparent rebels will attack next, we’ll be moving over to Kate Jameson for a special report on the recent smuggling deals occurring around the planet, after this break. This is James Sven, for Haven News Network.”
Vince Grant flicked off the holo-television and rolled his eyes. Politics. Who really cared? The government was a huge mess. It might serve them right for some people to come in and tell them how they should be running things.
Vince looked out his apartment window down at the streets below. The capital city Haven, of the capital planet Abundante. The most important city of the most important planet of the most important government in the galaxy.
He needed to get going.
Vince put on his cap and headed out the door and down the hover elevator, down to the street. He waved down a taxi, and got taken to a restaurant.
He hadn’t ever been here before. It was a seafood restaurant, which wasn’t his favourite. He glanced up at the big fish on the logo. The whole place was meant to look like restaurants on old Earth, so it was a bit odd for Vince. He entered the large, mechanical doors. They looked a bit of out of place on the seemingly antique building. There were lots of old round tables set around. Vince could smell a very distinct fishy smell, and old sailor songs played on the speakers.
“Hey, Vinny!” A man called from the corner of the room. Vince smiled and went to sit with him.
“Hey, Doug. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, how’re ya doing? Job okay?”
“Uh… I got a new once since we last talked. I’m a technician now.”
“Technician? Now, come on, Vinny, when are you gonna stop jumpin’ around these jobs all the time? Can’t you pick one ya like?”
Vince waved a waitress over and ordered for himself. After she was gone, he turned back to Doug. “Guess not. None of these jobs suit me, I suppose.”
Doug waved his hand distractedly and sipped his beer. He grinned at Vince. “Hey, man, you still owe me twenty bucks.”
“What?”
“Yeah, that one time you couldn’t pay rent, remember? And I bailed you out.”
Vince took his drink from the waitress. “Nah, that couldn’t have been me.”
Doug laughed throatily. “Yeah, whatever you say.” The waitress put down Vince’s order and Doug eyed it. “What, you’re only getting some fish? You know they got better stuff here, right?”
“I’m good. Not a big fan of seafood.”
Doug laughed again. “You were always a picky eater kinda guy, weren’t you? We went to that buffet once and all you would eat was the lasagna.”
“Spaghetti.”
“Whatever. You gonna eat that or just leave it?”
Vince looked down at the untouched fish. “Nah, have it.” He slid the plate across the table and sipped his drink.
There was a lull in the conversation, and Doug soon spoke again. “Hey, Vinny, you heard about all this, uh, rebel stuff?” he said quietly.
“Saw it a bit on the news. Why?”
Doug glanced around. “I’m kinda worried about it. When do ya think they’ll make it here?”
Vince shrugged and stared into his cup.
“I’m serious!” Doug said.
Vince sighed. “I haven’t got a clue, and I couldn’t care less. When they get here the military’ll take care of them. Nothing to worry about.”
Doug sat back in his chair, frowning. “If you say so.”
They sat there in silence for a little while longer.
“Hey, to pay me back the 20, why don’t you buy me a refill, huh?” said Doug, spinning his empty glass.
Vince took the cup, smiling. “Yeah, you got it. Hey, waitress!” He lifted up the glass.
A series of gunshots suddenly rang around building, and one of the bullets smashed Doug’s cup. Doug shouted an expletive and jumped to his feet. “Hey, what was that?”
Vince also stood up, and then ducked back down again as they heard a loud explosion somewhere across the street. He stood up again. It was pretty much mayhem in the restaurant. People were running, screaming, haphazardly around the building. He turned around. “Hey! Hey, Doug! We gotta get out of here!”
The two of them began their run to the door, Doug shouting colourful words along the way. “What is going on, man?” he asked.
“How should I know?” Vince replied.
Although he had a pretty good hunch.
Vince kicked open the restaurant doors and ran outside. He turned to see Doug still running to the door.
An abrupt explosion suddenly leveled the entire building. “What-What?” shouted Vince. He ran over to the smashed metal pieces. “Doug! Hey, are you there?” He started pulling up pieces of metal all around.
He turned around and ran his hand through his hair. He took off down the street, headed for his apartment. Tons of the buildings were already in ruins, and a lot more detonating as he ran.
Some gunfire clipped his shoulder, and with a shout of pain, he fell down to the street. He looked behind him. There was some kind of gunfight going on. The military, in their bright blue outfits, was definitely there. But who were those people in the red uniforms?
Deciding he didn’t want to find out, Vince jumped back to his feet with a wince. He looked around, and ran into a nearby alleyway. He leaned against the wall and slid down. Everything seemed kind of fuzzy. He pulled his sleeve up and looked at his shoulder. It looked a lot better than it felt, luckily. He tore off his sleeve and then did his best to tie it tightly around the wound.
He groaned and, closing his eyes, leaned his head back onto the building behind him.
“Hey!” The sudden voice made him jump. He looked up the alleyway. A man in a red military outfit was aiming a gun at him. “Who’re you and who do you go and work for?”
Vince stared at the man as everything got fuzzier. “My… my name is Vince Grant. I’m a technician. What… who are you?”
The man looked thoughtful for a moment, and then murmured something into a transmitter. He walked over to Vince. “Okay, we should, like, get you checked out. Can ya stand, man?” He pulled Vince to his feet and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “Come on.”
“Where are you taking me?” Vince asked, dazedly.
“We’re going to my squad’s rendezvous point. You’re in bad shape.”
“Rendezvous point? Who are you working for?”
The man smiled through the blood and grit on his face. “Can’t you tell? I’m with the rebels, man. I’m with the rebels.”