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    The Old Man in The Suit

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    Acai Dae
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    The Old Man in The Suit

    Post by Acai Dae on Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:30 pm

    The man was laying across a cardboard box covered in dirt in his ragged clothes as the tears began to surface again for the first time since he had first been broken.

    He sat up as the old man dressed in a fine blue suit that wreaked of riches, passed him,
    "Don't walk from me like everyone else, please."


    The old man in the suit stopped and lagged a few steps, then took a step back and stood at the mans side and looked him in the eyes.

    He said nothing.

    The ragged man seemed to be taken back by this and he hesitated as he slowly and silently said "how many days has it been, since I last had food, and how many days has it been since I could smile at the beauty this world has?"

    The old man in the suit seemed to feel the mans pain and he reached down to him.

    The ragged man looked up at him, "why can't you just walk away, like all else in my life? Why can't you forsake me through your judgement as the people do daily as they pass me and fear to look me in the eye as if I was some savage, why?"

    The old man in the suit said softly,

    "I never did."

    The ragged man slapped his hand away, "Why would you help me? What do you gain? Walk away, I am through with your illusions go and be damned"

    The old man in the suit said with a voice that was stern but gave warmth in every word,

    "Why do you forsake your fellow man if not for the fact that they forsake you?"

    The ragged man then pointed at the man in the suit and yelled to him,

    "I watch all of you as you smile and laugh, you take for granted the very clothes you wear and you can so easily exile me to this tormenting hell in which I try and make myself believe every day of my life ,will get better! You look at me as I'm the filth of the streets, as I look at you as you're the filth of the world."

    The old man in the suit laid his hand on the ragged man's shoulder and told him,

    "Would you feel the same if you had everything you wanted? Or would you take for granted the one who gave you everything from the start. How about your mother and father for giving you life? How can you not see the beauty in everyday if you have a chance in life to make the wrongs right. What do I get? To turn away the pain of others and present them with new life is what I achieve,"

    The man in the suit paused and lifted the ragged man to his feet holding him steady as his frail body barely supports his own weight.

    The ragged man said lowly then, "I wished I never ran from my problems, I wish I didn't do the horrible things, but when my mother died I lost my mind, I'll never have her back and I'll never be able to tell her how sorry I am for the things I said when I was little"

    The old man embraced the ragged man and said to him,

    "I miss her too. Come home son."


    Last edited by Acai Dae on Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:40 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : I saw a typo, and something annoyed me. 3rd Revision- I messed up what I fixed, and it annoyed me further.)
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    ToryIsConfused
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    Re: The Old Man in The Suit

    Post by ToryIsConfused on Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:19 am

    I like this story. It's short and simple, but has a powerful message. Both of the characters are very distinct. Although a story like this doesn't really allow for any major character development, I don't think it needed it. Good job!


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    Acai Dae
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    Age : 23
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    Re: The Old Man in The Suit

    Post by Acai Dae on Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:11 pm

    Thank you! It was more over the message that I focused on. It's something to really make the reader think about an issue at hand, and maybe subtly relate with the reader.

    What got me to write this was actually seeing homeless people of Orlando, and spending time talking with them.

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